5 things to never say to an aspiring author

Greetings from southwest England where hidden talents walk the streets. It’s been a busy week, I must admit. I am travelling tomorrow for a 3-months-long stay with my sister in Dubai and I feel like there are not enough hours in the day. But indeed, I have sorted myself out and voila! I am packed and ready for the sunshine and inspiration!

Indeed, I am not someone who takes things personally; however, attack the author in me and I have a lot to say, especially to the so-called perfect population of planet Earth.

I dedicate this article to the non-author population who think they may judge you or to demand of you to be better. Well, I have news for you. At least I am doing something with my life which I thoughtfully and heartfully enjoy. What are you contributing to this Earth and to yourself?

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You are not an author yet

The bloody hell we are not! We dedicate our time to research, which brings knowledge. We dedicate our time to write paragraphs upon paragraphs which equals a storyline. We dedicate a place in our heart which belongs to only the characters, setting, and every written word we ever created.

If we cannot call ourselves authors yet, then we are artists which has a deeper meaning than that of an author. We are proud of who we are and a boring and uneducated person such as yourself will not make us bat an eyelash.

We will keep going with a smile on our face even after you tell us “we are not authors”.

Why don't you publish the book already?

I would never have thought of that. Well done, Sherlock! Like seriously?!!

Not everyone writes ten or more books per year (I’m still not sure how some do this) and even if I could, it still takes some dedication in such a vast and busy market to publish your first novel. So much research, hard work and marketing goes into establishing a brand that if it was that easy, we would have millionaires walking the streets everywhere. But indeed it’s not such a thing.

And so far, I have not even talked about the actual writing which takes over your regular mind and keeps you wondering and pulling your hair out on those regular sleepless nights. Yes, you need to have a complete manuscript before even contemplating the correct publishing route for you. Am I going the regular publishing route or will I risk it and self publish?

Indeed, so much to contemplate.

You need to go out more

And you, dearest soul, need to fuck off and mind your own business! Yes, going out is nice and all, but when is one able to write after a busy week of a full-time job? If I were to party every weekend, I could never call myself an author. I would be a failure at its best. Not that I judge anyone who drinks themselves to Mondays, I just prefer having my head perfectly clear and headache free.

Though I appreciate you are caring about my mental wellbeing.

Can I read your first draft?

Sure you can, but only after I see your baby pictures and your deepest, darkest secrets.

Not every author feels this way, but I am sure a majority of aspiring authors would show no one their first draft. Especially the first draft of their first ever novel. Most times, the first draft and the last draft are like apples and oranges. So different you would think they are two different works made by two different authors.

Tell me I am wrong! You can’t, can you?

Why don't you write more words per day?

And here it is - the most soul-destroying question of them all. Especially after a month of sitting over your manuscript and not even writing a hundred words per writing session.

Indeed, I can write a blog in under one hour but when it comes to writing my own novel which means the world to me, my brain enters a fog and although it’s swimming with sceneries, I struggle to put them to words which would do the imagination any justice.

So to all of you clever people who dare to suggest such an abomination, why don’t you dare to look into a mirror? If you are a sole perfection made by God, carry on suggesting such things to innocent authors such as myself.

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I am not saying that these statements are bad, most are in a way supporting if said appropriately. But they are soul-destroying. I just believe that if you want to support your close circle members who are authors, you can do it differently: Just be there for them when they need a shoulder to cry on.

Huh, would you look at that? I just got an idea for another blog - 5 things you can do to support an aspiring author. See you on next time!